Whimsical Theologian Gifts

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

God feeding the angels.

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Are you made of sugar?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Selfie Stick

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Scuba cow"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

A man rakes a tree