Whimsical Researcher Gifts

"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"

"Belly Button Research Council"

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Selfie Stick

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Scuba cow"

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

"Right here's fine."

Spring Training

"Yes, one is a dog."

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Fishing for Birds

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

A man rakes a tree