Whimsical Mathematician Gifts

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Spring Training

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Selfie Stick

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

"Scuba cow"

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

A man rakes a tree

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

Fishing for Birds

Two birds sharing a bowl of worms.