Whimsical Person Gifts

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

The Artist

Swan Fairy Tales

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Lactose Intolerant

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'He takes his doodling very seriously.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

Selfie Stick

"Yes, one is a dog."

Spring Training

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Scuba cow"

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

Fishing for Birds

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."