Whimsical Juror Gifts

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Late BroomStick

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Judge Mental.'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

With Jury Duty for All

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'