Whimsical Judges Gifts

'Judge Mental.'

'Court's in recess!'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Help yourself

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

"He may be a famous artist, but I find his work too chocolate-boxy."

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'Of all times to have a dance tune get stuck in my head.'

'...Plus six months for breaking my little hammer!'

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

Lawyer to pirate with patch over eye: 'Tell me about the injury this Cap'n Hook gave you trying to high five.'

'Can you be more specific? Are you pointing at IBM, IMCLONE, INTEL...?'

'If these coins take root Sid, money really will grow on trees!'

'My client pleads not guilty by reason of mood swings.'

Financial advice books for boomers.

"I find in favour of Aggie's Day Care. Defendant is ordered to sit in the corner for one hour."

"Sell all my stocks and buy lots of old comic books instead!"

'Do you have a plan B if you can't find work as a frivolous suit litigator?'

"Amusing bouquet, without being hilarious."