Western Wisdom Gifts

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"They're comfortable."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'Oh, crap.'

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Skate or die."

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

"Herb's from Texas."

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

Hombre's Best Friend.

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon