Western Lore Gifts

'Tomorrow's bad for me...How does Wednesday look on everyone' calendar...to attack the wagon train?'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Cowboy:'DRAW!' - Two Cowboys about to fight it out using their Pencils and Paper pads.

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".

Sea Horse outside saloon

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

"You must be new around here, pardner."

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

Cowboy Acupuncture

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

Cowboy's to-do list.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cattle drive jumped over the moon.

Bad Guys INC. 'I got a cattle rustlin' requisition for ya, Slim.'

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

The world's first riding lawn mower.

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

'What the-! Who the heck's playing buffalo chips?'