Western Mythology Gifts

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Draw!

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

Sea Horse outside saloon

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

Cowboy:'DRAW!' - Two Cowboys about to fight it out using their Pencils and Paper pads.

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

Cowboy Acupuncture

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cattle drive jumped over the moon.

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

Bad Guys INC. 'I got a cattle rustlin' requisition for ya, Slim.'

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'

The world's first riding lawn mower.

'What the-! Who the heck's playing buffalo chips?'

Davey Crockett passed his bar exam.

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

'Sorry, ma'am, you just missed it. But we're expecting another one to blow through town in about an hour or so.'

Santa Claus Yells Out 'Yee-haw!'.

'Would you like express or economy delivery?'

"Gumfighters of the Old West."

"Don't look a gift horse in the ass, either."