Western Legends Gifts

'Of course you know this means war.'

"Meet the author"

Draw!

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".

"You must be new around here, pardner."

Ransom Library. Oh, that's just Henry … He's a history buff. Wild West.

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

"What ever became of the days, Béla, when we all used to dance with wild abandon by the firelight."

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

Bad Guys INC. 'I got a cattle rustlin' requisition for ya, Slim.'

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

Cowboy's to-do list.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cattle drive jumped over the moon.

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

Davey Crockett passed his bar exam.

'Hey you two! Take that outside.'

'Don't think about it, Banjo!'

'What the hell d'ya mean 'shoot straight'?! Whaddya think I'm doing?!!'

'Sorry, ma'am, you just missed it. But we're expecting another one to blow through town in about an hour or so.'

Bonnie and Clydesdale.

'The nearest boozer? You're talking to him!'

Marshal Hickory BIll makes the first Wild West faux pas.

It's hardly a claim to fame: Most of us have had ancestors killed by Buffalo Bill...

"Nobody dared to cross the stranger with a big iron on his hip."

'Tomorrow's bad for me...How does Wednesday look on everyone' calendar...to attack the wagon train?'

"Don't worry. I don't use pliers to extract teeth. I just rely on my trusty six shooter."

'I think globally but I tend to get drunk locally.'