Western Lifestyle Gifts

"All hat and no cattle but, my god, what a hat."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I had ridden from Wichita to Santa Fe before I realized my hat was on backwards."

Western Philosophy

Montana Health Food: 'BEEF 'N' BRAN SALOON, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

"....Don't squat on your spurs in the shower."

A corral of cowboys

'Oh, you're so tense, you must have a lot of stress in your job.' 'No ma'am, that's just my saddle.'

'Don't you just love that new horse smell?'

Foolish Floyd and His Mighty Smart Horse

'...and then the photographer told me to hold the Sharps like this.'

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

Cowboys playing guitar video games.

Cowboy Baby.

Cowboy with hat out Title: 'Homeless on the Range'

Cowboy Philosophy

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Well, think about it: Why do they call themselves 'cowboys' when in fact they ride us all day long...'

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

Target Practice

Horse rider has equipped his saddle with a roll bar.

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

"His coffee's always crap for about a week after the MacArthur genius-grant winners are announced."

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"Any trail - just find one and hit it."

"Of course it's horse-proof. Everything I own is horse-proof."

The new man was viewed with skepticism.

"Say, Bart. Break out that ol’ Harmonica App."

Bart is quite at home on the range.

"Don't mind Bill. He's got misophonia."

"They're comfortable."