Weekend Match Devotee Pillows

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Raheem Sterling

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Jose Mourinho

The game comes first...

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

'We're in a hurry.'

"You're the sport on my telly"

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

Football Delivery

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Rugby Mad.

Baseball Cheating

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Ball and Chain

Turkey With All the Trimmings

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

'Don't cry, Tel. England might be out of the European cup, but at least we've still got Poland.'

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

Nothing was going to shake Bill from his seat during the cup final.

Football fan

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

'And how were our team doing before your foot slipped?'

"Sometimes I question his priorities."