Match Day Aficionado Pillows

The commentators want to run the officials...

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'His wife is very supportive.'

'We're in a hurry.'

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

Sisyphus

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

Goal Post Ape.

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

'That's David James, that's Sven...'

Footballer.

'Structural strength test? Next door!'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'What do you mean someone stole the coin used in the coin toss?'

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."