Match Day Devotee Pillows

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Football

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Beer Order

Snail Racing

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

"You're the sport on my telly"

The game comes first...

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'We're in a hurry.'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

Rugby Mad.

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Baseball Cheating

Turkey With All the Trimmings

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"