Test Match Devotee Pillows

'This Chap Gayle moaning about matches.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I really crammed last night.'

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Football Delivery

The most probable explanation to the mind of a sixteen year old tennis star

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

'We're in a hurry.'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

I love tennis

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"Sometimes I question his priorities."

'Oh, for the good old peaceful test match.'

Nothing was going to shake Bill from his seat during the cup final.

"I would also like to thank the jury for validating my work."

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

Footballer.

I love Kung Fu.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Football Applause

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

'Aha, this is exactly the same opening position as Botvinnick versus Capablanca in Rotterdam 1938.'

"We'll swop at half time."

Football prayers.