Weekend Gatherings Gifts

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The devil you know and his plus one

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"You two seem oddly suited."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

Fall on a desert island

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Playing cards.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"What about the five that fell through?"

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

Thank God It's Friday.

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'