Weed Wizard Gifts

God bless our grow house.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

Rose Garden

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'That plant food really works!'

D.I.Y

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

Texturing the Walls

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

'First weeds of spring.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'The highest court in the land.'

Woman knitting a washing line.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

Emma Watson

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

'Boat Launch'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

'Listen to this: Each drop of water we drink may have once been in a glacier, Attila the Hun's stew, Mike Tyson's sweat, Liberace's bathwater, drool from a...'

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."