Wedding Mishaps Gifts

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

Private Eye office: 'She went on a second honeymoon,but not with me!'

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"How much worse?"

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

Bride with a lasso.

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

"My camera froze up during the ceremony, but it wasn't a big problem. So did the groom."

Elopement

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

"I don't mind getting married for better or for worse as long as it's not a whole lot worse."

'You can't stand the sight of me, can you, Algernon?'

A bride and groom at the altar.