Wedding Mishap Gifts

"Bert's Bakery? I think there's a pissed-off Bucks Party somewhere, standing around our wedding cake."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"And do you promise to love, honour, and give me all your personal information that I can pass on to third parties..."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

Private Eye office: 'She went on a second honeymoon,but not with me!'

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

Bride with a lasso.

"And do you John, despite the mountain of statistical evidence showing it ain't gonna happen, promise to stick by your woman?"

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

'About this trip to the Amazon jungle...I want my money back!'

"How much worse?"

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

Elopement

Airline luggage return: 'Next time, send my luggage to Paris, Texas, and me, to Paris France'

"Flight or fight!"