Marriage Mishaps Enthusiasts Gifts

'I know I said you should part your hair down the middle, but...'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"It's not what you think."

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

'They have TWO trees!'

'I married Miss Right... I just didn't know her first name was Always!'

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

'You forgot our anniversary, but you remember his birthday?'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

"Did you finally come to an agreement with your wife? Or am I opening old wounds?"

'There you go again, jumping to the wrong conclusions'

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"I don't like sweetcorn".

"I left the toilet seat up once too often."

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

'You can't stand the sight of me, can you, Algernon?'

'It's the blind date who arranged to meet you inside.'

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

"...our marriage requires teamwork but are the matching tracksuits really necessary?"

Ooops!

Rage!

This end up - You idiot.

"God, Maria, when are you going to learn to cook!"

"It was a great first date. And I loved hearing how your body stores fat differently than other people."

'... And when he said; 'Can anyone show just cause why these two shouldn't be married'. I half expected my husband to burst through the door!'

Cow-print panties. Co-workers discuss a failed gift.