Marriage Mischief Gifts

Bride with a lasso.

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

Couples: 'This weekend, for a change, I'd like to flout convention.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

Rubbish husband...

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"Fidelity, Ellen, stifles creativity."

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

'They have TWO trees!'

He'd often look back and wonder what went wrong. She'd catch him sometimes and call the police.

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Harry! You?"

'You forgot our anniversary, but you remember his birthday?'

"Watch this!"

'But we can't afford counseling. Can't we just have our marriage defragged?'

"You've changed, Howie."

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

I'm a 10.5. What, litres?

'There you go again, jumping to the wrong conclusions'

"Yes Dear, Yes Dear, Yes Dear"

"Yo, Angela! The good news is I found your vibrator..."

"I don't know, Dave. I just think the spark has gone from our marriage."

I'm a slimeball, but you knew that before we got married!

Flirtation

'We can't get a divorce. We haven't paid for our wedding yet.'