Marital Mischief Lover Gifts

"Yo, Angela! The good news is I found your vibrator..."

"Harry! You?"

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Playing pig

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

The Tooth Ferret

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Halloween health & safety.

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My husband hates to exercise since it makes him sweat. How do I tell him to shape up? Thanks, SV. *Actual reader question. Haven't you read the scientific research, lady? Exercise is one of the worst things you can do for you body. It leads to pain, sweating, muscle ache, weight loss. On the other hand, research also shows the great health value of yelling at your husband and telling him he's a lazy wretch! The science is divided on the question. One of the great joys of b

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"I never lie to my parents, but sometimes we do interpret event differently."

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

'They have TWO trees!'

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

"Who made this mess?"

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Watch this!"

Hey, wait a sec … Forget it! If you think I'm letting you off the hook for forgetting our anniversary, think again! Didn't you also accuse me of forgetting it just a couple of months ago? What date were we hitched? Don't change the subject.

My bad.

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

Bride with a lasso.

"Yes Dear, Yes Dear, Yes Dear"

"Fred, listen. Can you hear me? The desensitizing cream - it's for external use."

Flirtation

I'm a slimeball, but you knew that before we got married!

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

I got arrested for posting misinformation on the internet, I told a dating agency I was 6' 2".