Marriage Mischief Lovers Gifts

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Playing pig

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

The Tooth Ferret

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Halloween health & safety.

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

Pigeon Master

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

'They have TWO trees!'

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

"Who made this mess?"

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

Bride with a lasso.

"Harry! You?"

Hey, wait a sec … Forget it! If you think I'm letting you off the hook for forgetting our anniversary, think again! Didn't you also accuse me of forgetting it just a couple of months ago? What date were we hitched? Don't change the subject.

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

'Do me a favor, Ed. Don't tell the other guys.'

"Fred, listen. Can you hear me? The desensitizing cream - it's for external use."

I got arrested for posting misinformation on the internet, I told a dating agency I was 6' 2".

HMS Pinafore

"Yo, Angela! The good news is I found your vibrator..."

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

The Cornucopia Trap

Rabbit ears

'He may be 52 but he still swings-the lead mainly!'

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'