Marriage Mischief Lovers Gifts

Bridegroom jumps in the hands of his bride after seeing a mouse

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

The Tooth Ferret

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Halloween health & safety.

'I thought you said you were taking me to Swan Lake?'

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

Pigeon Master

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"Dad's half asleep. He was using the fly swatter to flip the pancakes."

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

'They have TWO trees!'

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

"Who made this mess?"

Bride with a lasso.

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Harry! You?"

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"I now pronounce you man and wife... Would you be interested in purchasing a maintenance agreement?"

'Do me a favor, Ed. Don't tell the other guys.'

"Fred, listen. Can you hear me? The desensitizing cream - it's for external use."

HMS Pinafore

I got arrested for posting misinformation on the internet, I told a dating agency I was 6' 2".

"Yo, Angela! The good news is I found your vibrator..."

The Cornucopia Trap

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

Rabbit ears

'Hello dear, have I kept you waiting long?'

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

'He may be 52 but he still swings-the lead mainly!'