Webmaster's Friend Gifts

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Mac OS 20

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

Teacher's pet dog

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"This chasing stick app makes things so much easier."

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

"He spends hours waiting for his muse to strike..."

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'