Web Research Gifts

'I'm very impressed with your web research, this self-diagnosis would be 100 accurate...if you were a patagonian fruit bat.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Fear/Knowledge

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

Do your research!

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Scientists are sexy

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"