Online Research Gifts

'If you trust your search engine more than you trust me, maybe you should switch doctors.'

'Those are interesting questions Timmy. I suggest you ask your search engine.'

'I couldn't diagnose this ailment on the internet, so I was forced to come to you.'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'It's hurtful enough you diagnose yourself on the internet, but then to call me a 'second opinion!''

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'I love this RX site - I can look up prices for all of my unaffordable medicine around town!'

At last he was ready to plug into online job search.

'Apparently, using the internet can damage sp... what's the capital of Ecuador?'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Wikipedia says that the new guy you're dating has been on Jerry Springer's show three times,'

'Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?'

Kim was beginning to wish she hadn't started down the self-diagnosis route

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'Ask your computer.'

"I'm just googling what happens next."

Travelogue

"And how do you feel when your patient does online research and thinks he's an expert?"

'The web is a great educational tool for wine lovers. Right now, Jim is learning how much his brother spent on the bottle he gave for his birthday.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent 11 years studying medicine when your research online seems to have identified your condition...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

"One moment, sweetie, I'm just asking Google how I should react."

"Guess what else I found on YouTube, Randy?" "Evidence Vladimir Putin is an immortal." "There are two photos of soldiers who look exactly like Putin, taken in 1941, and way back in 1920. Exactly like him." "Could be they're related." "The notion of 'genetics' is a huge conspiracy by the immortals." "I found that out on YouTube."

"The extra charge is for arguing with me from what you've read on the Net."

"I didn't want to come in, but I've spent thousands of hours online diagnosing my neck pain and it just keeps getting worse."

"First, I want you to cut way back on the Ancestry.com."

"The doctor will see you shortly—in the meantime, please fill out your medical Google search history."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Stinkin' fake news!"

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."