Online Health Researcher Gifts

I didn't want to come in, but I've spent thousands of hours online diagnosing my neck pain and it jut keeps getting worse.

"I appreciate your researching solutions on the Internet, but there is little evidence to show twig broth and changing will help your condition."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Travelogue

'Ask your computer.'

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"And how do you feel when your patient does online research and thinks he's an expert?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'Those are interesting questions Timmy. I suggest you ask your search engine.'

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

"One moment, sweetie, I'm just asking Google how I should react."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."

"I believe an effective decay-preventive dentifrice when used a conscientious program of oral hygiene can be of significant value and so does my horse."

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

At last he was ready to plug into online job search.

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

Results of a Smoking Survey - 'They weren't very passive about smoking'

"The doctor will see you shortly—in the meantime, please fill out your medical Google search history."

"I'm not feeling too great. Maybe I'll ask WebMD what's wrong with me."

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

'I can't afford health insurance, but a little info from the internet and an ice cream scooper...'

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

'It's a new syndrome we're seeing more of... 'Google-itis'.'

Site warns website users their personal details might have been compromised...

'I love this RX site - I can look up prices for all of my unaffordable medicine around town!'

"I'm hoping to go pro one day..."