Web Architect Gifts

No caption (A spider using a cell phone spins a randomly patterned web).

'I begged you to take that correspondence refresher course, but not Mister know it all.'

I.M. sPEIder

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'We've re-branded.'

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'Everything is in the Cloud.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

Cloud Computing.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Building a company.

Information about information about information about information.

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

allovertheplace.com

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

Information vs. confusion

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

'You see a bunny, I see an off-site system maintained by a 3rd party providing storage, processing power and computer applications.'

Wifi Peacock

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'We're here to talk to your son about his website...'