Weatherman Humorist Gifts

'I know we're living under a park bench. Do you know the roof leaks?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Captain steering house through flood.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Bird Symbol Hunting

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'Is this a cirrocumulus or what?'

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

"With the temperature on the rise, New Yorkers find creative ways to beat the heat."

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

TV News. Multiple drenching thunderstorms are forming over the region. What's your weather segment lead-in? "There's a soaker born every minute!"

'Well, the weatherman was wrong again. He said we would have heavy but isolated showers today.'

"But the weather looks great for the rest of the week."

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Weather prediction is guesswork.

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

Bruce The Unhelpful Weatherman

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

'Uh Oh...Looks like we're going to finally get a little winter.'

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'