Weatherman Humorist Gifts

'I know we're living under a park bench. Do you know the roof leaks?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Captain steering house through flood.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

Bird Symbol Hunting

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'Is this a cirrocumulus or what?'

NEWS WEATHER SPORTS

"With the temperature on the rise, New Yorkers find creative ways to beat the heat."

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

'Well, the weatherman was wrong again. He said we would have heavy but isolated showers today.'

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"But the weather looks great for the rest of the week."

Weather prediction is guesswork.

Making isobar map with elastic bands.

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

"...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today."

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

Bruce The Unhelpful Weatherman