Water Snobs Gifts

'Tap water?! As if.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I make it myself!"

Leak in the fish tank.

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Wine tasting

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Common Dolphin

"House red, sir?"

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

Summer Sketches - The 4-sous baths

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

Water skier being attacked by giant fish.

Prosecco Drinker

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

"I had no idea Dom Perignon came with a screw top."

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."