Drink Snob Gifts

Cup chained to tap, "I'll say this for him he always offers his clients a drink."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

You're the botanicals in my gin

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"I make it myself!"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Wine tasting

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Roller Coasters

"House red, sir?"

Tea Snob.

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

Man swipes friend's drink, saying: 'Thanks Dave, I'll have what you're having.'

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

Prosecco Drinker