Water Snobbery Aficionado Gifts

That snob only likes bottled water.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bring your own inflatable.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"I make it myself!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Lifesaver!

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Wine tasting

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Making fun of Starfish.

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

A family playing in the sea

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"House red, sir?"

Freddie's water

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Children playing around a water pump

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

Swimming Champion.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

"If you drink eight glasses of water every day, you'll due fully hydrated."

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"