Wine Snobbery Enthusiast Gifts

'It's got quite a nose, I'm getting autumn harvest ... a tart elderberry finish. Not bad for a urine sample, eh Doc?'

'Don't just gulp it down like that! Smell the bouquet, savour the flavour on your palate!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Now I really hate poetry."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"