Wine Snob In Training Gifts

"Teaching him to use a knife and fork was easy but he still can't tell a Merlot from a Chianti!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Wine Lady

Sauvignon Bonk

"Now I really hate poetry."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I make it myself!"

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"So the wife says to me, you need to take the dog out..." "Wine list, please."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'S'more wine?'

The wine-shop

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Catch and release dating.

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

Cheers