Water Snobbery Aficionado Pillows

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bring your own inflatable.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"I make it myself!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Lifesaver!

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Wine tasting

A family playing in the sea

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

Making fun of Starfish.

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"House red, sir?"

Children playing around a water pump

Freddie's water

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

Swimming Champion.

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"It's an unpretentious little wine!"

"If you drink eight glasses of water every day, you'll due fully hydrated."