Water Snobbery Skeptic Pillows

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'New money or old money?'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'Tap water?! As if.'

Carbon capture and storage

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

"A knowledgeable choice...A sophisticated blend of fine liqueurs..." "Girly drink."

"I told you not to give them a bath in hot water!"

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"The resort has a pool-bar! Oh goody, book it!"

'You really don't like water do you, Jen?'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Don't you think listing the contents as hydrogen, hydrogen and oxygen may be seen as a little pretentious?"

Unsynchronised Judging.

'If I'm not mistaken, Mayfield is a sewage treatment plant.'

"I've never been much of a beach guy."

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."

"Their water is all locally sourced."

'I carbon off-set by donating to the Conservative party.'

Yorkshire Water - "Time to take a leak Gentlemen ?"