Water Cooler Gossip Gifts

'The boss doesn't like skiving around the water cooler!'

"I'm telling you this in confidence because no one else will listen to me."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'Johnson is such a goof-off that last week at the water cooler they had to give him mouth-to-mouth!'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"There's something fishy about the water cooler!"

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

Dot did her best to conceal the fact she was having a bad bum day!

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

Fish in Water Cooler.

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'