Water Cooler Enthusiast Gifts

'Teleworking had many advantages but Colin missed the cut and thrust of discussing sales successes around the water cooler.'

'Get back to work. I don't pay you guys to stand around the water cooler all day.'

"I've decided to work from the office today. Screwing off at home isn't as satisfying."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"It's an easy-drinking water that evokes earthy wood with aromatic notes of brass."

"Nobody's around. Let's chug it."

"How much can I pay you to change cubicles?"

Empty water cooler.

'You should check out this amazing view from my cubicle. It overlooks the water.'

'The boss thinks we're spending too much time around the water cooler so he's taking advantage of it.'

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'

Fine. Block my email and jam my cellphone. I'll just goof off more at the water cooler!

"WE had a complete communications breakdown in the office today. The water cooler was removed!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Corporate feels that we're healthier and more productive if we are hydrated."

"Here's where our budget ran out."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."