Water Cooler Commentator Gifts

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'