Water Cooler Critic Gifts

'He sort of grows on you, I suppose.' - 'Like warts.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"This is a tough place to work..."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"