Water Cooler Aficionado Gifts

'Maybe I should change this thing more often'

Woman having office affair with water cooler.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'