Water Cooler Antics Enthusiast Gifts

'Just ignore him. He's the company joker!'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

"It's right here in the brochure: 'Be sure to tip your fishing guide.'"

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"This is a tough place to work..."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'