Water Cooler Comedian Gifts

"When you're through with that, there's a water cooler on seven that needs emptying."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'

Season's Greetings from Santa cooler...

"I've heard a rumour you've been drinking in the office."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Teapot

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"This is a tough place to work..."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."