Water Cooler Comedians Gifts

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

Teapot

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

'While you were out I replaced you.'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'

Uninhabital USA.

igloo smoking zone...

'I enjoy sweating the small stuff. It adds to my fitness workout.'

Box of powdered gossip, just add water.

"Believe me, management isn't talking about you behind your back. In fact, they're not talking about you at all."

"The water feature doubles as a plunge pool."

"Solar diet."

'The boss thinks we're spending too much time around the water cooler so he's taking advantage of it.'

'And do we really need scarves for warmth? And what's with the stove top hats?!'