Water Cooler Conversationalist Gifts

'I stopped working at home because I missed hanging around the water cooler.'

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

"Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, am I right?

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'I enjoy sweating the small stuff. It adds to my fitness workout.'

Box of powdered gossip, just add water.

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't talk about anything other than football.'

"Believe me, management isn't talking about you behind your back. In fact, they're not talking about you at all."

'The boss says I should be more passionate about my job - we make WIDGETS!'

Water-cooler wildebeest.

"I noticed on the way here, but if I turned around I wasn't coming back."

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Well, he was conspicuous by his absence, but still pretty inconspicuous.'

"Long bike ride last weekend?"

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."

"You've heard about death and taxes, they become inheritance tax."

"Ennui is only as exciting as you make it."

"So I sold him SIX with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"I'm a temp."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'