Water Cooler Talker Gifts

"Hey, get away from the urinal."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

Fish in Water Cooler.

"This is a tough place to work..."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Bob, it's about your branding."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

There is nothing permanent, except changing the water bottle.