Water Cooler Talker Pillows

"Hey, get away from the urinal."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

Fish in Water Cooler.

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Bob, it's about your branding."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'