Water Cooler Chatter Gifts

Fish in Water Cooler.

Thank god she can't tell I was fantasising about her last night...

"I tread that fine line between being indispensable and maintaining plausible deniability."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"This is a tough place to work..."

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Bob, it's about your branding."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'