Watercooler Conversationalist Gifts

"Don't be afraid to speak up, Brewer. If we don't like what you have to say we'll just shame you back into silence."

Teleworking had many advantages but colin missed the opportunity to stand around the watercooler discussing success stories.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"This is a tough place to work..."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

"I think I'll go do some work. I'm actually feeling goof-off fatigue."

'Notice to all employees...there is altogether too much goofing off on company time.'