Water Cooler Philosophers Gifts

'Probably by the water cooler.'

'Check this out. By age 50, the average American has consumed enough coffee to keep the entire city of Utica, NY, awake for 10 months.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"Can you put more nudity in this?"

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

'Uh-oh... the boss is wearing his safety boots! That means, someone will get kicked out today!'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"This is a tough place to work..."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."

'What can I say, Carol... I'm whelmed.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'The key to my job security is nobody knows I'm actually working here.'

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.